Wednesday, 25 April 2007

New intro online

I've rewritten the introduction, which is now online. It's now I hope a much better summary of the book and walkthrough for the grid. Thanks are due to John D and James P and many others for very helpful suggestions. I dont know how this open source thing has been for you, but I've found it essential to getting the book in shape. Even the knowledge that it will be exposed to the world immediately gives a kind of extra dimension to the editing.

new intro link

Almost there (now I just have to re-edit the rest of the book by next monday!)


john dodds said...

This is great - flows well and drives reader toward the rest of the book - but I have one big caveat.

I was going to say that using grid references in the final explanation of the grid is not user friendly - just write "greener product" "greenest social" and have the grid reference in parentheses. I still think that's valid criticism for that section but I have to go further and say I don't think it belongs in the intro.

The rest of the intro is terrific but this extended explanation of the grid reads like an add-on and then just stops. Stylistically, I think the intro should finish with the first basic explanation of the grid and the paragraph that follows it - ending with the hopeful phrase "what might be possible in future."

This might be left as is or worked up into a rallying cry which leaves the reader of the intro eager to move on.

The secondary expalantion of the grid is worthy stuff but I just don't see it as intro material - maybe an appendix or maybe something that will be repeated in following chapters and can thus be cut completely. What say you?

Oh and a nother thing - crap not cr*p - I hate asterisks.

John Grant said...

it's that old intro problem

do you tell people what's in each later chapter or not

my thought for it in the intro is you can them always refer to it, while reading the book or later, as a ready reference

easiest answer to your points is cut the intro in two

may also then just amalgamate with a later section which also summarises the grid too

short intros are good

thx for input, valuable as always


john dodds said...

I'm only really talking about losing a couple of pages Id guess. The first grid explanation is fine and valauable.

John Grant said...

yep I have shifted it around - seems to work better

easiest thing is I'll send you the word doc when I am through editing it early next week; much easier to flick around and see where stuff sits